wow i either have 0 feelings or all feelings at once

(Source: vegay)

rampaigehalseyface:

seababe:

You really only understand how drunk you are when you’re peeing

(Source: glial)

hippyjamfest:

I want to join your hardcore band but my mom wants to talk to your mom first

thewaywardfox:

protip: if you cant remember someones name, just call them “old sport”

mowwwg:

“you can’t wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!”

the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won’t quit???? honey that ain’t wrong that’s just fact

cassiesandsnark:

you know i make a lot of threats for someone who is short and cant even do a push up

draconisblog:

tumbledore-:

The best super power ever has to be the power to refill things. Think about it, your glass is empty, refill it without getting up. Your bank account empty, power to refill it. Your bed is empty of a person of your preferred gender, refill it and have some fun.

At first I was all:

Well that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.

But then I was all like:

GENIUS! PURE UNADULTERATED GENIUS!

lucidliving:

thecouscousqueen:

grrrlfever:

Cosmo sex tip #394: Once your man reaches orgasm, awkwardly embrace him and whisper “well done Draco.”

i wanna give a high five to every parents who have a hot son good job 

(Source: indoxyl)

klinklang:

despite the fact that water tastes like nothing, it’s actually really good 

like

how does it manage to do that

be tasty with no taste