wow i either have 0 feelings or all feelings at once
I want to join your hardcore band but my mom wants to talk to your mom first
protip: if you cant remember someones name, just call them “old sport”
“you can’t wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!”
the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won’t quit???? honey that ain’t wrong that’s just fact
you know i make a lot of threats for someone who is short and cant even do a push up
The best super power ever has to be the power to refill things. Think about it, your glass is empty, refill it without getting up. Your bank account empty, power to refill it. Your bed is empty of a person of your preferred gender, refill it and have some fun.
At first I was all:
Well that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.
But then I was all like:
GENIUS! PURE UNADULTERATED GENIUS!
i wanna give a high five to every parents who have a hot son good job
despite the fact that water tastes like nothing, it’s actually really good
how does it manage to do that
be tasty with no taste